i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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