It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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