69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just want nice things and good sex
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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