dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
