she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
