the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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