Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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