Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
