Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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