did you get engaged???
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
