Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
