he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Damn victory sex feels great
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
