we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
