shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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