Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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