I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
