...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I did not marry a roomba.
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