i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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