he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
