if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
