I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
