I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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