woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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