Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
that may or may not have been my penis.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
