just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
