I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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