whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
