I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
