No stitches, just platelets and will power
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
