This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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