He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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