Only a mothe r could love this liver
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
