last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
