Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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