physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
