Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
