how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
