just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
