He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
pop tarts are not kleenex
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
