WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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