Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
