I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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