we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
