You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
