UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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