Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
