we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
