I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
