I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
