He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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