Buhtt sex?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
