I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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