She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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