So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
