Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
