she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
